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CBF

Posted by Chris McLeod almost 8 years ago

This is the CBF, how may we help you today?

  • I’d like to invest some trees in the Cherokee Bank of Firewood, I replied.

Thanks for your enquiry Sir. I can recommend the government guaranteed at call deposit account which earns, let me see here, a rate of return on your deposited trees of 1.5%. Remember that this account is an at-call account and you can retrieve it at any time from one of two firewood branches which are located near you, for your convenience, and it is government guaranteed.

CBF Branch Eastside Cherokee "The Peacock Branch"
CBF Branch Westside Cherokee "The Weather Vane Branch"
  • Oh, I was hoping to get a better return for my tree investment?

I’m sorry Sir, I’m not authorised to speak with you about those more sophisticated investment options. Would you like to speak with one of our specialist tree wealth planners?

  • Sure.

I’ll just put you through now Sir.

Hey, this is Carl, I’m a specialist tree wealth planner, how are you going today?

  • I’m good. I’m looking to invest some trees with the CBF but I was after a better return than the standard at-call account.

Sure, I should be able to help you with that. Before we get started, just how many trees are we talking about here?

  • About 10,000 trees.

That sure is a lot of trees.

  • Yeah, it is a lot of trees. I’ve been collecting them for a while, but the growth hasn’t been as good as it could be.

Yeah, I’ve heard that story. With so many trees, you are clearly a Sophisticated Investor and I could get you into one of our Green Leaves Managed Investment Trusts. It is an exclusive investment opportunity available only for Sophisticated Investors with plenty of trees, and the returns are good. It is a revolutionary product!

  • That sounds great as I love circles. So, I’m interested. Just how good are these returns?

Oh, the returns are really good. Here is a testimonial from one of our sophisticated investors enjoying what is known as the returns from the: CBF Green Leaves Derivative Managed Investment Trusts Number 7.

A satisfied customer of the CBF enjoying the returns from the derivative managed investment trusts number 7
  • I’m starting to get excited at the thought of all of those derivative returns.

Yeah, we’re excited too! The really smart money nowadays is into leveraging. And you want to be smart because interest rates are so low nowadays and tree growth is also low so you’re competing against other investors searching for yield. I know that the best way to score those higher yields is to borrow against your initial tree investment and then use those borrowed funds to grow your tree investments. If you earn more trees than you borrow, then you are miles ahead.

  • This sounds great. Where can I sign up?

Well, as a Sophisticated Investor with a large tree portfolio to invest, you can have exclusive access to our CBF private wealth specialists who will assist you personally and help you to make the smartest investment decisions!

Apologies for the silly banking digression, but this week I began withdrawing a few loads of dry firewood from one of the two branches of the Cherokee Bank of Firewood (CBF) – err, sorry, I meant firewood sheds. Access to dry, seasoned, cut, and split firewood supplies is better than money in the bank.

The author has begun removing a few wheelbarrow loads of dry firewood from one of the two sheds

Managing the firewood resources here has been a very long learning process for me that has taken six years of accumulated experience. And it is only this year that I believe that I have stored enough firewood for the entire years supply.

Firewood is a useful energy source as it provides heating for: the house; the hot water system; and an oven and stove top for cooking. However, managing firewood that is harvested form the local trees requires a person to consider their energy needs not just for today, but for many years into the future. The local trees, Eucalyptus Obliqua (Messmate) will not burn when they are green (which is a fancy way of saying: Alive). They require two years of seasoning (which is another fancy way of saying: Dead) before they lose the sap and moisture that prevents them from burning when green. And even if those trees have received the seasoning, if they are at all damp from the very humid winters here, they won’t burn and it is almost impossible for them to dry out during this humid and cold time of year.

As you can see, it is a complex problem learning how to manage a local resource. One mental tool that has served me well with answering those management questions is the concept that: If I’m not considering how to manage a resource or system, then it is probably working and requires no further thought. Firewood has been on my mind in previous years, but not so this year.

For the rest of the blog click on: http://ferngladefarm.blogspot.com.au/

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