URGENT! In this age of media, we're all so focused on life, people are forgetting that some things need to be dealt with in a more personal way. For instance, cheating. Swearing, stealing and even flighting your own wedding are all getting a bit more out of hand... So don't forget to give some of your feelings to that special someone before it's too late.
In the past, when you used to have a relationship with your spouse, you had picture frames on the wall and a personal wedding ceremony was stuck in your memory. But now, you are enjoying your marriage and as a result, you feel guilty about cheating and this is not an easy feeling at all. Things seem like they would be great when they are at their best, but disappointments are inevitable. Imagine it has been a long since your wedding day and you are stressed out about the ceremony itself.
-- Do You Have a Gut Feeling About Cheating? --
Do you have a gut feeling about cheating? In other words, do you have a gut feeling that it’s unethical to cheat?
If someone asks you if it is ethical to cheat on a test, and you say “I am not sure”, you probably don’t feel like your answer is the right way. In fact, you might well feel like you are betraying yourself or your company by saying something like “I don’t really feel comfortable answering this question because it is so subjective and I don’t know how I would answer it.”
That kind of response is an extremely common one in many fields and businesses. There are many reasons for this (which we will get into shortly), but the most common one relates to the sense of discomfort around dishonesty. It is much more uncomfortable to lie than to tell the truth (and yet very few of us want our companies or organizations to be perceived as deceitful). So, we avoid talking about it too much because we know that there are some situations where lying might be appropriate (for example: some legal contracts; being involved in a covert mission; being part of an investigation etc.).
It seems that we have an even bigger problem with people who have a gut feeling about cheating: those who are suspicious about others and their motives. So, for example, if someone says “I am not sure if I should call someone a thief because I think he may be trying to rip me off…” then who would trust that person?
And yet, all too often these people are entirely right — they might indeed be trying to rip us off! And they do so quite intentionally — without even realizing it!
So, what exactly should we do when faced with this kind of situation where there is no clear way forward? What should we do when faced with people who simply can’t trust others? Should we just walk away from them altogether? No! We need a way out — but how can we get out of this mess without betraying ourselves?
This question comes up all the time in my consulting practice. When someone in our organization decides to act dishonestly toward us or our business partner (or worse yet…), our instinctive reaction is always to walk away from them immediately (even though they aren’t honest). We assume that when they ask us for help that they will truly need our help and therefore deserve any reasonable